This generally goes against our competitive nature and desire to be right. But forget about winning in political discussions. Seek instead to understand and to relate. Here's why.
In his philosophical opus, Being and Time, Heidegger explores the fundamental nature of human existence (being) and its relation to time. At one point, he introduces the German word Geworfenheit, which roughly translates to 'thrownness.' He uses this word to develop the concept that people are 'thrown' into the world by the specific aspects of their situation and left to make sense of it and find their way. I am increasingly convinced that Heidegger had a tremendous insight here, that we are each very much guided by our unique genetic makeup, cultural background, experiences, traumas, decisions, sense of history, and hopes for the future.
Heidegger's idea relates well to what psychologists tell us about our decision-making—that our decisions are heavily influenced by our emotions and subconscious mind, and that our conscious mind then works to justify those decisions. A useful metaphor is that our emotions and subconscious mind are our client, and our conscious mind is our lawyer.
One of a lawyer's jobs is often to isolate their client from the opposition. Another is to influence on behalf of their client. Mutual understanding and empathy between the clients is usually not the goal. Isolation and influence are also common strategies among politicians and their political machines. It should be no surprise that many politicians were once lawyers.
Now consider that opposing political clients sometimes live in the same house—and certainly in the same neighborhoods, towns, and country. Given this reality, it's probably not wise to leave all the strategy and talking to our lawyers. Instead, we need to start by connecting on those things that make us human. Be genuinely curious about each other's backgrounds, aspirations, disappointments, and hopes. That is where our core perspectives originate. The rest is mostly tribalism and lawyer talk.
From the foundation of understanding each other better as humans, we might one day be better able to explore balanced social policies. I think we would certainly grow as individuals and as a community. If we could do this, our clients would feel better, and our lawyers, in time, might have less to argue about 1.
1. Preaching to myself on these points as well.